HEY EVERYBODY... i know that it has been way tooo long since i updated.  i should have been writing every two days but i've gotten lazy. i have really good news...I'M COMING HOME!!! now dont get the wrong idea. living in rome has been a wonderful experience but roma is not la.  i miss my friends and family and all the good stuff about being at home and in an english speaking country. my roomies and i have been thinking about the first things we are gonna do when we get back to cali and 3 out of 4 of us said that we wanted to go to in and out (mel's a veggie...no yummy burgers for her). we are gonna talk to strangers on the street, be loud in public and go to costco and buy shit in bulk. got the states are great. i just can't wait to get mexican, go to target and hang out with the crew. it's been almost 4 months with no dennys visit  OH THE HORROR!!! lol...

in the last couple of weeks i have been to venice (with 4 other lovely ppl...and it was super magnifico) and florence (i saw the david...soo effing amazing) and this weekend i'm going to the coast... its gonna be bitching... in in 3 weeks i get to go to germany for 10 days. i've been keeping myself busy socially and soon i will have to get busy academically. there are papers and projects gallor. but i will get thru it cuz i always do...

ATTN ALL: nikki bookman where not only here in roma for the death of the pope and the viewing of the pope but i was also here for the crowning of a new pope... how freaking awesome is that? i was a part of history... i must get some pope souveniors b4 i leave roma...

even though im super excited about coming home i'm super sad about leaving my new friends from here. my roomies are awesome and all the boys next door are freakin great. i'm gonna miss the nakedness and the guitar playing. i hope that my bf here (tara) will spend time at home this summer so we can hang. i'm already planning a trip up to cal to visit lots of ppl since everyone seems to go there. its like moving out of the dorms... even though we will hopefully stay friends we will never be in this exact situation again....awwww... well that just means that i have to take 9 million pictures to remember everyone by.

i'm sooOooOo excited that mO and ali are gonna come to the airport when i get home. i  get to see my grandma for the first time in like 8 months too. 5 of my favorite ppl in one place...how great is that. i wish i could be greeted by my papa (r.i.p) and i could tell him all about my trip... he would be so proud...

i get to hang with ali and mO and go shopping, i get to watch movies with my mom and davis, i get to talk shit with steven, and have random, neverending convos at dennys with tom...that is the life...

well look out stati uniti i am coming home...hell have no fury like a woman deprived of all the comforts of home...

STARBUCKS HERE I COME!!! LOL!!!

i do believe that today is feb 23rd...where the hell is time going seriously... so much has happened since my last update. most importantly i went on a week vacation to SPAIN!!! it was the coolest place and the best time that i have ever had in my life. i went to 4 different cities... barcelona, madrid, alcala (a little town were mi amiga megan is studying) and valencia. man this trip was super tiring but soo well worth it. i got to go to 4 cities and spend a week in a col place with travel and food included for 300 euro which is almost 400 bucks american. so let me tell you how this little trip went. first off i was horribly sick the two days before i left for the trip. i thought i was gonna fucknig die and was soo pissed that i was sick. so i packed all this medication with me just in case i was gonna need it to sleep and to basically stay alive.  so anyway i was surprisingly not sick the whole tip. i guess it was a whole mind over matter thing. anyway we had to catch our flight at 600 in the morning but had to take a taxi to the bus station and then a shuttle to the airport. i didn't sleep the whole nite. it was a 1 1/2 hour plane ride to gerona, a little place on the outskirts of barcelona were the airport was at. we took a bus from there and fell asleep and then when we woke up and the bus stopped we didnt know where the hell we were. that was shocking experience. but we finally found out hostel and got all settled away. barcelona is seriously one of the most beautiful cities that i have ever seen. we went to a billion museums there. there was a picasso one right now the street from our hostel and a dali one too. the nite life there is pretty cool too except for everyone smokes like fucking chimenys there!!!

we took an 10 hour overnite train to madrid and slept in beds that were barely wider that me and i couldn't even sit up straight in the bed. there were 6 bunks like this in a tiny room for 10 hours!!! needless to say it was definately an experience. in madrid i didn't really feel like there was much to see but i was super happy becuz i was gonna get to see megan... we took yet another train to her little town of alcala and i fell in love with it. i wish that she was closer so i could just go back whenever i wanted. i discovered this food call doner and sangria... ahhh good times with sangria...it's dangerous... it doesn't really taste like alcohol... megan and i watched lots of episodes of friends and scrubs cuz i miss american tv. awww it was fun just to see here esp since i wont see her again until JULY... i'm really glad that i have the opportunity to see such wonderful places.i am truly blessed like my daddy always says.

as of monday i have offically started real school. i'm not too excited about my classes and my schedule isn't the best. i have 930 classes 4 times a week... now for those of you who really kno me yall kno i am by no means a mornign person...i hope these 10 weeks either go by really fast or i get used to this shit asap. i had a saddening thought though... i want to be an elementary school teacher and have to be to schol by 730!!! i wake up at 730 now and i am complaining... omg what have i done to myself.

in other news...i am finally getting into a nitch with ppl here. i dont really have a set group but there are definately ppl who i spend lots of time with. they are soo awesome. i posted some pics on webshots if you want to see (check my profile for the link). i found a boy here who has wonderful hair and plays the guitar... i'm soo excited cuz he reminds me a lot of jon and that makes me feel more at home. i have to find ways to keep myself sane here. some days i just freakout and want to gooo home sooo fuckin badly but i will survive. ok well this entry is turning into a book and i have class hella early tomorrow so ill catch yall on the flip side.

p.s. thanks to mO and ali for sending me stuff in the mail. oh but ali i still haven't recieve whatever it is you sent me. lOve you gUys!!!

wow i can't believe that it is february already...where the hell is the time going... i was talking to my roomie about being a teenager (she 19) and it seems like yesterday that i was 16 and then i thought about it and was like how the fuck did i get to be 20...were did my teenage years go...how is it already feb 2005...how am i already in my 3rd year of college...how have i alreayd been in rome for 2 weeks...time plays some crazy games...i feel like my youth is passing me by and i'm not doing anything particularly interesting with it...

im such a hypocrite...i've been telling ali that she needs to stand on her own tow feet and depend on men for happiness but i haven't exactly been following my own advice...i've been letting my feelings for HIM or rather my unreciprocated feelings for HIM get me down...ive been basing some self value in whether or not he thinks im peachy keen so to speak...i kno the truth but i have been fooling myself into believing that my time spent with HIM was more than good times becuz that possibility was far more comforting than reality. so i'm setting the record straight and putting it out there for all to hear... HE DOESN'T LIKE ME... and i think it's time i came to grips with that fact and just get over HIM... why cant two ppl lookin for the same thing just find it in each other...

they say ppl always want what they cant have...i guess that is why i want someone to love me...

Currently Playing Heavier Things By John Mayer wheel see related

(this was written b4 the posting above...)

roma is wonderful... i went on a walking tour to the forum and the coliseum... it was the greatest experience of my life... pics will be posted on webshots soon... same user name as here...

on another note... i've been gone all of 2 weeks and he's already replaced me. i'm sooo sad. i kno i shouldn't be...we've always only been good friends... of all ppl why did he have to pick her...and why did i help them meet...i'm so stupid...sometimes my friend instincts override my personal girl instincts...i want him to be happy but i want him to be happy with me...why hasn't he realized how wonderful i am yet...i need to learn to love ppl only when i kno they are gonna love me back...but that my friends is unfortunately easier said than done...

John Mayer... WHEEL...

People have the right to fly
And when it gets compromised
Their hearts say "Move along"
Their minds say "Gotcha heart"
Let's move it along
Let's move it along

And airports
See it all the time
With someone's last goodbye
Blends in with someone's sigh
Cause someone's coming home
In hand a single rose

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now
And I won't be the last
No I won't be the last,
To love her

And you can't build a house of leaves
And live like it's an evergreen
It's just a season thing
It's just this thing that seasons do

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now
And you won't be the first
No you won't be the first
To love me

You can find me, if you ever want to give
I'll be around the bend
I'll be around the bend
I'll be around,
I'll be around
And if you never stop when you wave goodbye
You just might find if you give it time
You will wave hello again
You just might wave hello again

And that's the way this wheel keeps working now
That's the way this wheel keeps working now

You can't love too much, one part of it (repeat then fade)

I believe that my life's gonna see
The love I give
Return to me
I believe that my life's gonna see
The love I give
Return to me
I believe that my life's gonna see
The love I give
Return to me